Habitual Bondage

​Since the news broke on the covid19 stuff, my thoughts have taken me many places. One place being my personal relationship with handouts.
I realized that I had become dependent on the smorgasbord of free and reduced food available.
Let me back up a bit. When I came to this community I was a widow, homeless and trying to survive. I’ve never used food stamps or county programs because I wasn’t that bad off. I was taught to work and earn my way.
For the first time in my life I used a food shelf or food bank, and it changed my life!
Not only did I have a steady supply of healthy food, but I had a place to volunteer, get my life back on track and I met my husband there!
Yes, our finances are tight and we did utilize the food shelf. But now I see how reliant I had become on it! And can empathize with those who use other programs and avenues of supplement.
It’s very easy to become dependent on these programs and to not go off them. Why put any effort in when you know it will be there?
As a business owner I have mixed feelings about using these services and volunteer often, since I cannot give back financially at this point.
This time has truly given me a new perspective on how blessed I am: food to eat, water to drink, roof over my head, vehicle to drive, clothes to wear and so much more.
Nothing I own is the newest and best, but it serves its purpose.
If we become reliant on the hand out we can miss the ‘hand up’.
Accepting a ‘hand up’ may mean cutting back or doing without, but when you earn something it has value and you take care of it.
I’ve glued my shoes and polished them like new, proudly worn my outdated clothes and darned my mittens.
After a few weeks I’ve not missed the handouts and found ways to use the canned, dried and frozen goods I’ve been saving for lord knows what!
Life has been simpler, less stressful and relaxing. There is satisfaction in choosing fresh, new, in-date items from the store shelves! You choose more wisely and in turn save money because you actually use the items!
I’ve also had time to enjoy life and study, read and begin writing my next book.
As for the business loans offered by the government, I will not apply for one. After long consideration, I know that I do good work at a fair price and will be just fine.
My husband said, “The problem you have is, you are like the old chiropractor who sees you a couple times and gets you better, not the ones who keep you coming back for the money.”
A veteran, my husband, also gently reminds me from time to time, how, “In the navy, everything you need fits into one compartment. If it doesn’t fit, you don’t need it.”
Wise words to apply in all areas of life!
There is nothing wrong with having a bit extra stored up. The government has guidelines encouraging you to do so. But, when you begin to ‘have just to have’, or hoard and waste, then it’s time to recognize the habitual bondage and take stock on what is really necessary.
Staying inside has begun to turn me inside out. Exposing my own habits which keep me in bondage to things.
Going inside - physically and mentally, has begun to restore me inside and out:)
​If you need these services, I am glad they are available for you and commend you for reaching out for the assistance! There is no shame in asking for help, ever!
FYI - therapists are not perfect, we’re just as messed up as everyone else. We work on ourselves often so that we can offer the best to you as clients.